Name: Saffron Shearer-Gare
Saff or Red as she's sometimes known would like her husband Al to be with her if she was stuck on a desert island. They would eat a Tuna, onion and olive pizza (with LOTS of cheese). She'd wash it down with a Vodka and Irn Bru (sans Vodka!) and for sweet her favourite chocolate bar a Star Bar. If she were to have sex with a farmyard animal, it would be the farmer's cat (watch out Steve - Ed). If she were invisible for the day, she would walk about busy shops and streets without being followed by security guards and being pointed at. She thinks the sexiest Fork is M and fishnets are definitely sexier ripped! The "Rocky…" character she'd most like to date would be the Usherette because she'd take you to a good, old movie and supply the snacks! The secret to happiness is Love, Truth and freedom and the secret to life itself is 42* (although in some quarters this has been realised to be the meaning of Life, The Universe and Everything - Ed.) Her favourite organs in the body are the eyes - although she's not sure if they count as an organ! Her Funniest moment as a Fork was doing the entire show with four of them (Saff, Carole, Nicky, M)…ONE person in the audience! Her all time favourite song…probably Science Fiction…it got her listening to music… The people she'd most like to kiss are Louise Brooks and Richard O'Brien. Moreover, she feels she probably wouldn't even leave the house if she didn't do "Rocky…"
Have you ever danced with the devil by the pale moonlight? Haven't we all?
*[The Meaning of Life, The Universe and Everything is hereby revealed by the kind permission of The Amalgamated Union of Philosophers, Sages, Luminaries and other Professional Thinking Persons.]